Attempted Murder. Jeeves Wounded in Attack.

THE WOUND.

Blimey, Yanks.

I had no idea that such hostility would be directed at meself just for driving down a parking lot lane. It was definitely an 'autoside' attempt, and while I was wounded, I grant you that it could have been much worse. Hurt like hell though, and my shiny good-looks have been destroyed. No more sneaking a look at the stylish reflection of my adorable self while passing plate glass windows. Heart-breaking that is.

To add insult to injury, the Wicked Witch who hit me never even said, "Sorry.". She acted as if it was my own fault for being there. In an existential way, I suppose that is true, but one cannot rewrite Fate, can one?

Of course the Mistress is simply beside herself. All upset, saying, "Why did I go to the Farmer's Market? I could have just gone to the grocery and this would never have happened." But me? I'm a bit of a fatalist and figure that I'd have bought it at the grocery, or the mall, or wherever. When your number is up, Mate, it is up and today they called my name. "Sorry, Jeeves, old sod. Sticky wicket and all that."

Hope the insurance company is a bit more polite to deal with than the attempted murderer.

SAD FACE.